I haven't felt like continuing the story.. So I'll write about my day, just for you.
Appreciate it.
Or else...
I'll tell the world about your eating disorder.
Yes, I swear it.
haha.
I missed dawn this morning; I must have not noticed it, usually I like to watch. For what reason, I don't know. It's virtually the same every morning. I just noticed that when I finally turned off the lights it was still bright in my room. It was a bit of a disappointment. I woke up late, as usual, and in doing so I ended up about twenty minutes late for the chemistry final. Mrs. Tuttle decided to hold it during the lunch hour in between scheduled exams. It was easy though; just an old chemistry regents which the class did together, meaning we all recieved perfect scores(which is wonderful considering it counts as twenty percent of our final grade.)
Donnie is doing is homework upstairs. 'I HATE school.'
and he's only in kindergarten.
eck.
We finished the collective effort a bit early, and thus I was actually on time for the english final. Shivvy had us choose a poem from the anthology for next years ap 12 class. I would have liked to do 'evening in a sanitarium' by Louise Bogan, but instead we had to pick from a list we were given. I chose 'Spring' by Edna Millay. I do love 'Nothing gold can stay', but I think it's probably popular enough that most everyone has already read it.. Especially since it's in The Outsiders, which is a very popular book/movie.
Following the 'exam', Amanda, Stew, and Becky decided it would be best to spend money and get fat(fatter in my case) by going to Friendly's all the way the hell in Medford. For some reason they encouraged me to join them, even though I had no money whatsoever. I have no idea why they bother inviting me anymore, they complain constantly about my bluntness and my sardonic sense of humour. I realize I'm reasonably terrible, self centered, even heartless at times, but if you prefer not to be mocked, then don't invite me out.
Honestly, this is not self pity, more like wondering in written form.
The only person, I believe, who enjoys my company at times is Stewart.
It was a lot of fun though. Indeed. I can't remember a thing we said, or even what we ate, but it was definitely fun. The amount I drank had rebecca accusing me of having diabetes, but I'm pretty sure drinking to much is not the only symptom.
Becky decided to stay at school. She was laying in the little shade of a tree they planted by the back parking lot, one I'd never really noticed before, when I left for home. I went to my father's house, since no one was there, then to my mother's. Michael went with me to Riverhead, Target's specifically, to buy dad a father's day present. He told us he wanted slippers and a lunch box, so we bought slippers and a lunch box. We had to stop at King Kullen for a few things for mom, then we came back to her house. We stayed for only a minute or two, then went to westhampton beach to see our aunt and cousins from delaware who are here on holiday for a week. They were off at the beach when we arrived, so we had to wait for a bit. I mostly just spoke to grammy, even when they came. I felt bad for my aunt, since her children don't really respect her very much. Or at least, they didn't when we were there. I didn't feel like stopping at the library though I just finished Ceremony of the Innocent, which I thoroughly enjoyed, although the ending was so tragic I cried.. Before that I was reading Twilight; I read the whole series in a matter of a few days. They are rather addicting at first, but then it gets annoying. I don't know. Just something about the way they were written. I think it's really only addicting because of how completely in love Edward is with Bella, though Bella is insipid and dull, and unbelievably ordinary. But he's so dedicated to her. A lot of my favourite scenes are just bordering on vamprie porn, which is probably why the book is so completely worthless in a literary sense. But I do like them. Really. I don't think the movie will be anywhere as good, and as I've been telling himmelmann for ages now, that guy playing edward is ugly. uglyuglyugly. And even worse is he was a model before an actor. haha. Not that it means anything..
Anyways. I'm really good at digressing, can you tell? One reason why I tend not to write much about what I do in a day, I end up writing in tangents.
I didn't get another book to read, so I will have to settle on trying, yet again, to read Catch-22. Michael and I came home to dinner mom made, then I came on the computer. I think that's about it. I might play DDR a bit, or read..
But not until I'm done on the computer.
SpringTo what purpose, April, do you return again? Beauty is not enough. You can no longer quiet me with the redness Of little leaves opening stickily. I know what I know. The sun is hot on my neck as I observe The spikes of the crocus. The smell of the earth is good. It is apparent that there is no death. But what does that signify? Not only under ground are the brains of men Eaten by maggots. Life in itself Is nothing, An empty cup, a flight of uncarpeted stairs. It is not enough that yearly, down this hill, April Comes like an idiot, babbling and strewing flowers
Evening in the Sanitarium
The free evening fades, outside the windows fastened with decorative iron grilles.
The lamps are lighted; the shades drawn; the nurses are watching a little.
It is the hour of the complicated knitting on the safe bone needles;
of the games of anagrams and bridge;
The deadly game of chess; the book held up like a mask.
The period of the wildest weeping, the fiercest delusion, is over.
The women rest their tired half-healed hearts; they are almost well.
Some of them will stay almost well always: the blunt-faced woman
whose thinking dissolved
Under academic discipline; the manic-depressive girl
Now leveling off; one paranoiac afflicted with jealousy.
Another with persecution. Some alleviation has been possible.
O fortunate bride, who never again will become elated after childbirth!
O lucky older wife, who has been cured of feeling unwanted!
To the suburban railway station you will return, return,
To meet forever Jim home on the 5:35.
You will be again as normal and selfish and heartless as anybody else.
There is life left: the piano says it with its octave smile.
The soft carpets pad the thump and splinter of the suicide to be.
Everything will be splendid: the grandmother will not drink habitually.
The fruit salad will bloom on the plate like a bouquet
And the garden produce the blue-ribbon aquilegia.
The cats will be glad; the fathers feel justified; the mothers relieved.
The sons and husbands will no longer need to pay the bills.
Childhoods will be put away, the obscene nightmare abated.
At the ends of the corridors the baths are running.
Mrs. C. again feels the shadow of the obsessive idea.
Miss R. looks at the mantel-piece, which must mean something.
Nothing Gold Can Stay
(Robert Frost)
Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}